Resentment Is a Symptom of Poor Process

Let me paint a scene for you.
You’re juggling client calls, a timeline that’s about as breathable as vacuum-sealed tofu, and for some reason, your team keeps missing the same kind of detail… over and over.

And every time it happens, a little part of your soul cracks like that weird chip in your favourite coffee mug that you pretend isn’t there.

Your inner monologue starts cooking:

• “Why can’t they just think?”
  
• “I said this three times already.”
  
• “How am I the only one who cares about quality here?”
  
  

Sound familiar?

Yeah — been there.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth:

Most of the time, when I’m annoyed at the team… it’s not them. It’s me.
Or more specifically — it’s a system I never built, or a process I never clarified.

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The Resentment Warning Light

Resentment is sneaky. It doesn’t show up with fireworks. It simmers.
It starts with mild frustration... then eye rolls...
Then one day you catch yourself rewriting someone’s work again, and you’re fantasizing about a different career in mushroom farming or silent meditation.

The root cause?
→ You’ve assumed people can read your mind.
→ You haven’t set clear expectations.
→ You’re playing internal whack-a-mole instead of designing clarity into how things should work.

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Real Talk: People Aren’t Psychic

Let me tell you what a “process problem” looks like:

• Someone misses a deadline… because no deadline was ever set.
  
• Designs get reworked three times… because there was no proper creative brief to begin with.
  
• You find yourself reviewing pitch decks at 1am… because you never created a handover system.
  
  

And yet somehow you’re annoyed at them?

That’s like throwing someone in the deep end with no floaties and getting mad when they drown.
(Spoiler: you built the pool.)

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The Systems Audit (a.k.a. The Resentment Cleanse)

Every time something frustrates you internally, try this:

1. Ask: Was this clearly documented somewhere?
   
2. Ask again: Were the expectations crystal clear?
   
3. If yes: People problem. Address it.
   
4. If no: Process problem. Fix your systems.
   
   

We wrote about this before in the “Process vs. People” article — and it still holds.

Always start by assuming it’s the system — because 8 out of 10 times, it is.

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The Cost of Not Fixing It

If you let this stuff slide:

• You build a culture of silent frustration.
  
• You accidentally train people to rely on you to catch everything.
  
• You burn out. They burn out.
  And then nobody’s building anything anymore. You’re just emotionally babysitting chaos.
  
  

TL;DR

If you’re feeling constantly annoyed at your team, here’s your mirror:
It’s probably not them.
It’s probably you.
Your systems are unclear, your expectations are floating in space, and your idea of “obvious” isn’t obvious at all.

Fix the process.
Watch your peace come back.
Then go have a Kit-Kat.