Startups Aren’t a Family

You’ve heard it. You’ve probably even said it.

“We’re like a family here.”

It sounds sweet. Supportive. Warm and fuzzy. But here’s the truth:
In a fast-moving company, “we’re a family” is one of the most dangerous lies you can tell.

Families don’t fire underperformers.
Families tolerate dysfunction.
Families stick together no matter what — even when things aren’t working.

Startups? Can’t afford that luxury.

‍

The Problem With “Family Culture”

When you tell people they’re part of a family, you blur the lines between personal loyalty and professional accountability.

It becomes harder to give feedback.
Harder to let go of people who aren’t pulling their weight.
Harder to make tough decisions — because now it’s emotional.

And in an early-stage company, emotional decisions are expensive. Every weak hire, missed deadline, or misaligned team member doesn’t just slow you down — it risks the entire business.

You’re not building Thanksgiving dinner. You’re building a f***ing rocket.

‍

A Better Model: The High-Performance Team

Netflix famously ditched the family metaphor years ago. Reed Hastings put it best:

“We’re a team, not a family. We’re like a pro sports team, not a kid’s recreational team. Netflix leaders hire, develop and cut smartly, so we have stars in every position.”

That’s the mindset.
You’re not here to play nice. You’re here to win — with mutual respect, trust, and clarity on who’s doing what, why, and how well.

On high-performance teams:

• Roles are clear
  
• Feedback is normal
  
• Results matter
  
• Weak links get replaced — kindly, but quickly
  
  

You win together. You lose together. But you earn your place.

‍

Can You Still Care About People? Hell Yes.

Don’t get it twisted. This isn’t about treating people like disposable parts.

You should care about your team. Invest in them. Grow them. Give them autonomy and flexibility and space to level up.

But don’t confuse support with sentimentality.

Being a good leader means having hard conversations, making uncomfortable decisions, and doing what’s best for the company — even when it stings. That’s respect. That’s maturity.

That’s how you build something that lasts.

‍

The Nexubis Take

I’ve never called Nexubis a family.

Because we’re not.
We’re a mission-driven crew of creative killers, systems thinkers, fast learners, and deep challengers. We push hard. We care about outcomes. And we have each other’s backs — not because we’re related, but because we chose to be here.

And if someone’s not a fit?
We don’t sweep it under the rug.
We solve for it — fast. For the sake of the mission, the momentum, and the team that’s still in it.

This way, we don’t carry dead weight.
We carry each other — forward.